all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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