I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
