The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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