the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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