After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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