cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
