I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
