dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
