The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
