Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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