Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
