Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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