After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The beer is more important than you right now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
