i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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