Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
