I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
