It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
