This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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