I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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