Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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