i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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