spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
