By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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