yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
