ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize