In the future we'll all be gay
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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