About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
