He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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