You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize