haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize