how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize