Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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