I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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