Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
