I wish I could punch you in the face.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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