I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The uberlube is also flammable
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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