so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize