Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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