I wannas sexs uuuuu
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
