I wish I could teleport
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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