fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
