he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize