..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
