I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize