Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
