I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Panties = found
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
