in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
