I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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