she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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