god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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