At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
