i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
