Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
