Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
