I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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