I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
