Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
