lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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