Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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