Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
