The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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