ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize