Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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