I got chris browned last night
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
