that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
