Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
