the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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