Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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