Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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